In today’s podcast, I’m super thrilled to be able to share with you a positve birth story. As you know it is my hope to inspire you to have a fear free birth, and for me part of that is to dispel the myth that childbirth is always painful, horrid and traumatic. Fear plays a huge role in creating those kinds of birth experiences and so it’s really important to seek out positive stories in the lead up to your birth. As part of my work in helping you to prepare for a fear free childbirth, I’m gathering positive birth stories from mums who are happy to share their experiences as well as what they did to achieve those experiences. It’s fair to say that childbirth is hard work – the clue is in the name! (LABOUR!) – and for you to succeed will require putting in some preparation work. So, the mums I’ll be speaking to will be able to share what kind of preparation they did to help them have a positve birth experience.

Jennifer’s Positive Birth Story

My story today comes from Jennifer Nesbitt Holt a mum of 2 from Austin, Texas. As well as being a mum, Jennifer is an entrepreneur, an artist and a podcaster.

During our chat, Jennifer shares

• what her pregnancies were like, and how they differed
• how she had to ignore the doctors and trust her body during her pregnancy
• how the preparation she did for her for her first birth, carried her through for her second birth
• why she hired a doula and how her doula supported her
• why she decided to have a dialogue with her second baby in the lead up to the birth
• her experience of her “lying in” experience post birth
• how kundalini yoga helped her to prepare for birth
• who she chose to have in her birth support team

Both Jennifer’s babies arrived naturally at 43 weeks, so she also shares with us how she coped with The Wait and WHAT she was doing when her waters finally broke! clue: it involves Ricky Gervais!

At the end of the podcast, Jennifer shares with me some Tibetan Bowls music that’s she’s developed that includes specific vibrations that can help to calm mum and baby. You can find out more about this right here.

Jennifer is a real delight to listen to so I hope you enjoy listening to our chat.

What did you think listening to Jennifer’s story? Did it inspire you? what did you take away from hearing what she said? Is there something that you want to try out after listening? Let me know in the comments!

The post Jennifer’s Positive Birth Story appeared first on Fear Free Childbirth.

Today’s episode is inspired by a listener Amanda. Amanda started listening to the podcast right at the beginning of her pregnancy and she emailed me to let me know how much she was enjoying listening to it. She excitedly shared her hopes and dreams around her pregnancy and birth and I remember feeling so priveleged that she was allowing me to accompany her on her journey. Then a few weeks later she shared with me that she miscarried. She was heartbroken and asked me to do a podcast on miscarriage. So here it is Amanda, here’s my podcast for you and everyone else who’s coping with a miscarraige.

Joining me to talk abourt coping with a miscarriage is Susie Gower. Susie is the lady behind Becoming Mama and she supports women from fertility to birth and she works with lots of women to support them through the aftermath of a miscarriage. She was inspired to start her business from her own miscarriage experience where she felt isolated and alone. Here’s a little bit more abotu Susie…

Susie Gower is a holistic fertility, pregnancy and birth mentor, qualified hypnotherapist, reflexologist and reiki master.  Throughout her work she has always sought a deeper understanding of the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of conception, which lead her in 2009 to the Omega Institute in New York to train with the world-renowned psychiatrist Dr Brian Weiss.

Susie started her fertility practice in Hertfordshire more than 10 years ago. The success that she and her clients have enjoyed over that time has earned her national recognition for her expertise in understanding the mind/body connection, and how emotions affect fertility. Susie regularly speaks at workshops on wellbeing and fertility issues and her articles are published in magazines such as Mother and Baby, Bella, Beauty magazine, Fertility Road, Herts Life.  Susie belief in “giving back to the community” drove her to founding the Hertfordshire Fertility Support Group, and nationally she is a volunteer for Infertility Network UK.

A miscarriage can be a very lonely experience. Often the only other person who knows is the dad because we’ve chosen not to tell anyone our news for fear of experiencing this very thing. And yet, if we had shared our news early on, then we would not feel so alone and would be able to seek the support of those around us. Difficult times are made more difficult when we feel alone and unsupported so while I cannot promise to take away the loneliness of your experience, i hope to be able to provide you with support.

Coping with a miscarriage

During my conversation with Susie we talk about various aspects to coping with a miscarriage and the ensuing journey including;

• The typical emotional journey that comes with a miscarriage. While we may travel along this road at different paces the stop points tend to be very similar.
• Why you need to honour your emotions in the aftermath of a miscarriage and how you can best do this.
• I talk about the chakra mediation exercise that I used to help me to process my emotions.
• Susie shares how visualisations can help you move on and she talks about the little birdcage one, that tends to work for many people
• The importance of creating a farewell ceremony and how that might look for you
• The difference between holding onto the memory of your baby and the emotion of the experience, and why you don’t need to hold onto both
• Why we don’t share our pregnancies earlier than the 12 weeks BECAUSE of the miscarriage risk and shouldn’t this change?
• The importance of support groups online or locally
• The challenges of social media when it comes to pregnancy and miscarriages. Coping with the trauma of Facebook status updates.. how miscarriage sufferers usually stay
• How pregnant mums often remind them of the pain they’re going through, and how as a pregnant mum, you can be more mindful of how your actions might be affecting others.
• And finally, we finish by exploring other ways for you to think about your miscarriage experience that can help you to move on. Often by taking a more spiritual approach, or by simply asking the question “What positive has come from this experience?” you can think about your miscarriage differently which can help to alleviate the emotional pain

Resources mentioned during the podcast

Brian Weiss is the author Susie mentioned that she studied with. He wrote one of my fav0urite books, Many Lives, Many Masters and he provided Susie with a nice alternative perspective on how to view a miscarraige from the baby’s perspective.

I talked about David Chamberlain’s book, Babies Remember Birth (which is now available as “The Mind of your newborn baby” which inspired a previous podcast episode 7 ways that behaviour in your pregnancy affects your baby

FREE DOWNLOAD

Susie and I are both sharing some tools and exercises that can help you if you’re coping with a miscarriage in this week’s free download;

• Susie is sharing her Farewell Ceremony to help youi to let go and move on
• I’m sharing my Chakra cleansing and balancing exercise that helped me during my darkest days as I was coping with a miscarriage. This helped me to move on and let go of my painful emotions.

To get hold of both of these straight away, just click on the the box below.

If you’d like to find out more about Susie’s work, you can can visit her site Becoming Mama or you can find her on Twitter or Facebook.

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I can’t quite believe it, but this is the last episode in the first season of the Fear Free Childbirth Podcast. To finish I thought it would be nice to end with my own positive birth stories. After all, it’s the birth of my two daughters that have inspired all my work in this area and for me it all started with these two very magical experiences.

To help me share my positive birth stories, I invited Jennifer Nesbit Holt back on the show to be my guest host. I chatted to Jennifer right at the beginning of the podcast about her wonderful birth story, and as a fellow podcaster, I knew she’d do a great job. (And I just LOVE her accent!).

My Positive Birth Stories

If you’ve ben listening to the podcast, you’ll know that I when I was first pregnant, I was completely terrified of giving birth. I had all sorts of things going on in my head that I knew I had to face up and deal with before my birth. During my chat I share how I went from being completely phobic… looking back I’m sure it was tokophobia… to being totally fear free about birth;

• How I felt about my first pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage
• What I did to help me to overcome my fears in the lead up to my first birth
• How I dealt with my fear of the ring of fire as my baby was crowning during my first birth
• How my second pregnancy compared to my first when it came to my level of fear
• Why my second pregnancy forced me to immerse myself in birth edcuation
• How being an older mum changed my second pregnancy
• How I dealt with the negativity from my medical team when I was being pressured to be induced at 38 weeks
• Why I asked my medical team to agree on a different due date to the one I was given
• How I handled the stress of regular fetal monitoring
• How I prepared for my second birth
  • Visualisations around how I wanted my birth to be
  • Talking to my baby
  • Clearing my baby’s fears
• How I believe visualisation contributed to my second birth

There is so much more that I would have liked to have shared, but I’m going to save it for my second season. Of course, if you have any questions, then come and ask me – you can do it below in the comments or just email me at alexia [at] this domain!

Season 2 of the podcast will return in early 2016 and I would love to know if there is anything that you would like to hear. Let me know if there are any topics that you’re interested to hear more about, or maybe there are some guests that you think would be great to have on the show. Let me know in the comments!

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This week I’m delighted to share another positive birth story. This week Lucy HG is going to be sharing with us her primal birth story. Primal birth story? Well yes! It’s primal because Lucy went all primal in the final phase of labour!

Lucy’s Primal Birth Story

Lucy has been a long time listener of the podcast and would enjoy episodes as she would prepare for her birth so it’s lovely to be able to have her on the podcast inspiring other mums with her story too. I recorded this episode for last season, but I ran out of time to post it. Beautifully, this week is when her little one was born, so the birth story you’re hearing is a year old: Happy Birthday Sebbie!

Lucy is the managing director of an app development company, KuKu Apps, and is half Spanish. She lives here in the UK and made the decision late in her pregnancy to opt for a natural home birth. Her labour went on for about 25 hours, but listening to her, you’d never think it was an endurance test; she just took it all in her stride! Her primal birth story is lovely for so many reasons as you will hear.

Now there is so much about Lucy’s story that is worth listening to;

• How she handled two miscarriages and the first trimester of this last pregnancy
• What made her change her mind and decide to opt for a home birth
• How she thanks her mum for always speaking so positively about birth which gave her a solid foundation of belief and trust in the birthing process
• Why she compares birthing to competing in a race. As someone who likes sporting activities like mountain biking with her husband, Lucy tells us how doing this helped both of them in their birth preparation
• How she felt about her long labour
• Why she didn’t want a water birth (in her answer she mentions cavemen!!) < I told you she was primal!
• How she felt about the lack of continuity of care from her midwives
• Why she made it clear to her husband and mum to change the language they were using around her during the birth

There is so much in Lucy’s primal birth story to help you get into the right mindset, not least a reminder to get back to basics and tune in to our bodies and the inherent power of birth

Enjoy! x

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This week it’s maternal Mental Health Matters Awareness Week here in the UK and to honour it, I’m delighted to be talking to Susanne Grant about being pregnant with PTSD, birth trauma or baby loss.

Not long ago Susanne found herself pregnant with PTSD as a result of her own abuse experiences. Her journey in overcoming her PTSD is something that she is very open about and it’s what inspired her to work with women in this area.

Being pregnant with PTSD or with other trauma that may be from baby loss or a previous birth is not easy. Susanne’s story not only promises hope to those who have are facing this experience but also actual direct help.

Here’s Susanne story of being pregnant with PTSD in her own words.

“Because of my own childhood experiences (including abuse), which had led to me being diagnosed with PTSD at the age of 17. I specialised in trauma and human behaviour through university, I think it somehow made me understand what happened to me better. As I saw others heal, step by step, I knew that I could too! I just needed to find out how. I had different therapists, tried EMDR (didn’t work for my type of trauma), and so on.

When I became pregnant, for some reason, that I still not understand to this day, my pregnancy triggered my past. The nightmares started again. I was having panic attacks and my body ached all over. For whatever reason my body and mind were reliving my past traumas and illnesses.

My midwife suggested going back into therapy, but I told her no. I did not want to go through all of it for the fourth time. In hindsight, that was a mistake as a few days before giving birth I started to freak out. I didn’t want to be in this world, I hated being alive, and now I was bringing a life into this world. What was I thinking?!

My birth was a great experience, even though the fear created more tension than necessary, it was a positive experience. Over the next few months my triggers became a bit more frequent as I was tired and alone in a country without family or friends to help. It was challenging to say the least.

After my pregnancy, I realised that – even though my midwives did their absolute best to try to support me – some of them still tried to guess their way through it. I realised what I had to offer this world, is what I needed the most myself; healing of my past. I remember thinking ‘If we can fly to Mars, I could heal my PTSD right? You know, on the scale of things’. I tried everything I could think off, I asked for help, reached out and slowly but steady my trauma started to shift.

But it wasn’t until I dealt with what was underneath of it all, I started to really heal. The healing I found is incredible. Not only do I not get triggered anymore, I am even feeling grateful for the experience. Because – as it turns out – it made me such a great birth & healing coach!

That’s why I am sharing my story. Healing after birth trauma is possible. For you, for me, for everyone. Just don’t give up before you found something that works for you!”

Resources

During our chat, Susanne shared some resources that you might want to check out

Penny Simkin – When Survivors Give Birth

Birth Trauma Association

About Susanne Grant

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Today on the podcast I’m tackling yet another important – but not talked enough about – topic; the recurrent miscarriage. Baby loss is taboo enough as it is, but recurrent miscarriage is even more so, and neither should be.

To help me, I’m joined by Naava Carman, who specialises in working with women who experience a recurrent miscarriage through her clinic in London. Naava blends Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) with the Western approach to medicine to help women on their fertility journey.

Recurrent Miscarriage

The term recurrent miscarriage is defined as the loss of three of more pregnancies. If this is your situation then I please just let me give you a big hug. This is one situation where I find myself at a loss for words because I simply cannot imagine how hard it must be. Any talk that suggests hope feels a little crass because I’m all too aware of the emotional weight that rests on the pregnancy outcome. But when I spoke to Naava, I did find myself thinking about how her work does offer hope to women on such a journey. But not wishy-washy hope; a hope of a more practical nature with a rooting in science. Her work blending traditional Chinese Medicine with the Western approach certainly sounds like a fresh approach that is bringing results to many, so much so that Naava’s reputation precedes her.

FREE DOWNLOAD

To accompany this podcast episode, Naava has created a super-useful 1-page download to help you if you are navigating recurrent miscarriage. It’s a flow-chart that captures some of the long, technical words (!) she mentioned on the podcast – the bit where you probably thought you should be making notes! Well, don’t worry, we’ve got your back!

To receive your download the flowchart, just pop your email in the box below.

About Naava Carman

Naava Carman is a fully qualified member of the Register of Chinese Herbal Medicine and of the British Acupuncture Council. She founded The Fertility Support Company in 2006, and has been in practice for almost twenty years.  She is a highly experienced fertility, gynaecological and obstetric acupuncturist and herbalist, and is also a Recognised Doula (birthing assistant) and Doula Mentor with Doula UK.

Naava specialises in using acupuncture as part of an innovative method of treating gynaecological and fertility problems, combining Traditional Chinese Medicine with Western diagnostic techniques and Western medicine. Her Fertility Support System, which is a three-month programme, is designed to tackle the underlying causes of infertility and helps men and women to enhance their chances of conception naturally and in conjunction with IVF and IUI.

Acupuncture is ideal for rebalancing hormones, inducing ovulation and preparing the body for a natural or assisted conception. It can also help a patient to manage and overcome distressing symptoms and can be used through pregnancy, working to help prevent miscarriage and treat symptoms such as morning sickness and lower back pain. Men can also be treated to help increase their sperm count and the quality of sperm produced. Her areas of speciality include the treatment of Recurrent Miscarriage, PCOS, Endometriosis and Poor Sperm Motility.

Naava says, “Many of my patients have been told that they will never conceive – even with IVF or IUI – but often this is not the case. Medically, they may run out of options, but acupuncture combined with Chinese Herbal Medicine, nutrition and lifestyle changes can and does result in the impossible becoming very possible indeed.” 

The Fertility Support Company
www.fertilitysupportcompany.co.uk

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The psychology of pregnancy doesn’t often get discussed and I don’t know why, so today I’m remedying that.

Pregnancy and the journey of motherhood are such a huge time of change that it’s no wonder that there are psychological implications. The thing is, we don’t often stop and think about what those might be. In today’s episode I’m going to be lifting the lid on the psychology of pregnancy and motherhood so that you can have a better understanding of what might be going on for you. To help me, I’m joined by Leah Butler-Smith who is a therapist and a coach as well as being a mum of three. Leah had a very successful practice in London’s Harley Street and has worked with many women on the whole motherhood spectrum. This includes from fertility and miscarriage to overcoming pregnancy fears and birth recovery.

The Psychology of Pregnancy

Many women approach pregnancy and birth with very little if any preparation and assume that they can just take it in their stride. This might work for some, but given the seismic changes that are involved in becoming a mother, it’s worth taking some time to doing some preparation. Going from being an individual with no responsibility for anyone other than yourself to becoming a parent has its own set of challenges and adjustments to overcome. Add pregnancy and birth to the equation and you’ve got a mighty cocktail of craziness right there.

During our chat, Leah shares some interesting insights into the psychology of pregnancy and birth that might very well help you to unpick what is going on for you. Leah talks a lot about how our irrational mind is responsible for our beliefs and fears. She explains how those beliefs and fears may have been implanted in the first place, which is very interesting to listen to. I work with this stuff all the time so while it’s not new to me, I still find it super fascinating!

Leah also talks about her experience of working with women on the fertility journey. She talks about how, in her experience, fears play a huge role in our ability to become and stay pregnant. Leah shares stories of women she’s worked with who, once they’ve worked on the mind and the fears and anxieties at play, are able to then go on to be pregnant. Certainly worth a listen for that alone!

Managing pain with the mind

You will have already heard me talk quite a length about how pain is a mental thing and how we can manage our ability to cope with pain by using the mind. Well, Leah bangs this drum to. During our chat, she shares a brilliant technique for managing pain during labour and birth.

FREE download

During our chat, Leah mentioned a free download that she was creating. To get hold of the download CLICK HERE.

About Leah Butler-Smith

Leah Butler-Smith wittily refers to herself as a ‘Rapid Transformation Specialist’ who has a ‘particular set of skills’ (think the popular movie, Taken LOL). Having worked with celebs, creatives, sports personalities, entrepreneurial business owners including a few Billionaires. Since the late 90’s, her experience and knowledge is surpassed only by her constant enthusiasm for helping others. Her many skills include being awarded the title of Senior Hypnotherapist – one of the first awarded by the GHSC, Advanced Psychotherapist, Analytical Hypnotherapy, NLP Trainer, TFT Practitioner combined with the latest proven techniques Havening, EMDR and EFT. She now fills any spare time with studies in Neuroscience, Bio-Medicine and any other research that supports her members & private clients.

You can get access to Leah in person inside her newly formed community inside Facebook. There you’ll get regular tips for improving your mindset, learning NLP & other techniques proven that will help you improve your mindset, overcome challenges, build your confidence and support your business growth.

You can also get a Free Coaching Guide at WWW.LEAHBUTLERSMITH.COM

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I’m a huge fan of conscious conception and pregnancy and I believe that taking a conscious and deliberate approach to your journey from pregnancy to motherhood is the gold standard to aim for. But I also know that not everyone has got that memo and simply don’t get it.

To help you understand this in more depth, today I’m chatting to Jane Jennings about conscious conception and pregnancy. Jane is a Conscious Conception Doula and works with families throughout the pregnancy journey and that often means BEFORE conception.

What is a conscious conception and pregnancy?

I know that many of my listeners choose to listen to my podcast as part of their preparation for motherhood and so THIS is what I’m talking about here; being conscious and deliberate about your journey to motherhood.

Living consciously isn’t limited to pregnancy and birth. It’s something we can all do at any time, if we’re ready and open to it. Put simply, living consciously is being deliberate and mindful about your choices and conscious of their consequences. Many people live unconsciously from moment to moment and allow themselves to be carried by the current of life, instead of choosing to pick up an oar and paddle in a certain direction.

When it comes to a living a conscious conception and pregnancy, things you might want to explore include;

Create the space in your life for your baby

Many couples who are expecting their first baby, do not intentionally create the space for a new person in their life. Particularly if the baby wasn’t entirely expected. It can be all too easy to try and bolt the baby onto your young, free and independent life (I know because I was guilty of this!), but taking the time to think about what you need to let go of so that you can welcome your baby fully, is worthwhile.

Take a closer look at your work, chores, hobbies and relationships that are simply not compatible with family life. Be prepared to make changes to enable family life to flourish and thrive. Often, family friction comes from this resistance to let go of the life habits that suited a younger person with no responsibilities. By accepting your new role sooner, you can avoid much of this, but importantly, it gives a clear message to your new family member that they are welcome, valued and loved.

Work On Your Relationship with Your Partner

The greatest gift you can offer your future child is a loving relationship between his or her parents. If there are any unresolved issues between you and your partner, make a point to work on them before your baby arrives so you can welcome your child into a peaceful home. Take time to devote to your relationship, whether through therapy or counselling, simple open communication or even a baby-moon. A happy couple and a happy home massively increase your chances of having a happy child.

Journal your pregnancy experience

Write about your thoughts and emotions during pregnancy. Aside from the physical changes that accompany pregnancy, explore your ideas around how you want to parent, the relationship you hope to have, and the qualities you expect to foster in your child. Not only will this be interesting to read years from now to see how things panned out, but it will be a wonderful gift for your baby.

Our pregnancy journey impacts our babies in ways that we might find hard to grasp. Babies develop their senses very early on in utero and will be picking up on a lot of your thoughts and experiences. The emotions that you will be experiencing will be affecting your baby in quite profound ways; one of the key reasons to address your emotional wellbeing during pregnancy.

Regularly connect and communicate with your baby

Build a relationship with your baby early on in your pregnancy so that your baby is used to a two-way dialogue and trusts you. During birth, there needs to be trust between the two of you. Trust that you’re both capable and confident of doing what needs to be done and that you can rely on each other. Just as you need to have trust with your partner, trust with your baby is also important.

During my chat with Jane, we talk about much of this.

The conscious welcome for baby

Jane talks about how we can welcome our baby consciously into the world so that we can imprint some positive energy and emotion into our baby at a time when they are very open and vulnerable energetically and emotionally.

1. Breath down into your heart as soon as baby arrives, and breathe your heart space out to welcome you baby in
2. Get yourself into a place of calmness in preparing for the moment you hold your baby
3. Hold eye contact with them meeting them with intention of love. Do this for a good minute or so.
4. Make sure dad is near or close so they get to see and feel them too

About Jane Jennnings

Jane is an Awakening Soul Doula, energy healer and mentor. For 18 years now Jane has been supporting babies and their families to meet each other in conception, pregnancy and birth.

Every soul that grows within a peaceful family field and receives a gentle conception and birth, contributes to the rising of consciousness for humanity. The quality of how a soul is welcomed, heard and seen, right from the very beginning, matters greatly.

Jane’s wisdom and experience as a healer, means she can hold the whole family field. Each of your family members will be processing their own emotions and what it means to them to welcome a new soul into their lives. At this time of transition, it is likely to evoke many new feelings and apprehensions.

Most families creating the time to explore this pre conception and before birth have a more comfortable journey into parenting and stronger relationship dynamics for the whole family. Jane holds the space and guides each of you to explore what this feels like for you and for your whole family.

www.tobeborn.co.uk

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